You Poem

With you I am me

With you I am the I that I know best

like surfaces that are made for scratching

we have just started

So much is there

There is laughter and feeling

It’s a stop start train

like in the night that’s yours

Quiet and loud

and everything in between

The beat of your drum

is what my dancing feet are finding these days

and the music is the best we’ve heard

The holding back

and the giving

perfect unison somehow

There is a hot fever in me now

at the sound of it

and at the look of it

There’s your eyes touching me

It’s good to be me

I am the I that I know best with you today

I share with you my todays

What tomorrow throws our way

I don’t care to know

Let us indulge in the greedy need of it

And as I wonder will I give you these words

like the many others unspoken and not given

I share my spilling with you this time

Like a piece of paper

wordy possibilities

You can scrunch it

Tear it

Burn it

Throw it away

But on paper you can write beautiful music

paint amazing beauty

Hold it up for all to see

Stick it up proudly

Fold it away to put in a secret place

Keep it for yourself

Do what you will with my sharing

Suzy Markovski ©2010

Ending

We became masters of deceit.

We watered the seed of discontent

unconsciously out pouring decay

We closed the gate to pure and meaning

Chaos ensued and we danced in its charm

justifying our reckless selves

We rolled around in the dirty mud of it

like a pig in dirt, full of glee

but ready for the slaughter

Take hold of another day

and cover it with slime

We created a circle of filth

a stench unwarranted

We shot bullets of despair

no armour to protect

We shot at each other like

one shoots at the enemy

to save themselves

Your pieces were falling

off and exploding on me

The flames you threw at me

burned and scolded my heaviness

A sunken me

and a sunken you

and it was the end

Arms out-stretched to an empty receiving

we said goodbye and good riddance

Love

What is this thing called love

That we bludgeon it like with

sharp objects we prod  its outer layer

We prick it

We shove in it

Search the core of it

It deludes us

We are dumb to it

It stirs with laughter at our shortcomings

It surrounds us into itself

We drown our response

to play coy with it

It is a toy

like a baby with a string that can

choke it lifeless

Laughter stopped

drops of tear splash on the toe

like a heavy burden

It walks through us and

we miss catching the needing

Enveloping with it is in the bones

It craves us until it holds us and cradles

like vines with thorns and soft

Love?      

Monster Man

You freak with your teeth

And gaunt

And glaring

You absurd figure of tamelessness

You shameless laughing brute

You with your protruding eagerness

and disgusting possibilities

You heaving monstrosity

with sharp ugly eyes

and your stinking gladness

You black hole full of shit and stone

You with jagged veins and purple dew

You with your secreting stench,

heaving and glaring

You with your slimy disposition

and self righteous ugliness

You filling the room with your hard remnants

Your stinking limbs of depravity

Your cold dripping heart thrusting against

your shameless bone cage

You freak with your teeth

And gaunt and horrible

Glaring

Hate

I hate you

You mother fucking cunt

Mother fucker

Fucking cunt

Fucker

I fucking hate you

Feel it well up

Crawl up

Suffocate your throat

Cold dripping hating heart

beating at the bone cage

Ripping shreds and bits

Head full

Bullets of stinging zap through

tough gritting cracking teeth

Exploding throat fumes

Trembling fury veins

You mother fucking cunt

Mother fucker

I fucking hate you

Heavy heaving hating

Big black gun

Pointed right at you 

Bruises 2

Teeth marks and bruises

You scratch-maker

Devouring me

Sucking me whole and spitting me out

I limp around bruised and battered

Eating me alive with slow menacing

Suffocating me with your sex and nuisance

Thrusting my days away with you

You stop for a breath and a swig

And take to swallowing me again

Bruises

Teeth marks and bruises

You scratchmaker

Devouring me

I limp around bruised and battered

You suffocate me with your sex and nuisance

Thrusting away my days with you

Thrusting away my days with you

Thrusting away my days with you

Hot with the Fever

Lies and pretence

I look you straight in the bullseye

and fake it

I tweak my reality

so you can approve it

A different tale for all the contenders

Sick to the stomach of my illusions

Muddled truths

And adapted intrusions

Who is me?

I is me

And I don’t believe it

Don’t believe me

I don’t believe it

Tap tap, we dance the dance

and play with collusion

My apologies but its all bull crap

I make haste

leave a bad taste

in my own mouth

wash it out and clean the catastrophe

Muddled realities

I have built with heavy building blocks

of disbelieving

Hot with the fever of this dance of

Lies and pretence   

Drowning

Joining the living
The vultures in the land
The sharks of the sea
devouring me and drowning my 
claustrophobic clock
drags in the sand 
Frantically I pick at the lock
pick pick at the lock on my cage
I scratch fingers under my prison door
and paste my eye on its keyhole
and I am swimming and
dancing in my indecision
and I fumble for the ground
My feet need the gravity
My head needs the crimson clouds
And I drown somewhere in-between